


Where You Belong is Where You'll be

by phantomhive (phantom_hive)



Series: Baby Luv [5]
Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Drama, Family, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23680096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantom_hive/pseuds/phantomhive
Summary: This life does not require you to be perfect. Because no one is.
Relationships: Chinen Yuri/Yamada Ryosuke
Series: Baby Luv [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558663
Comments: 5
Kudos: 23





	Where You Belong is Where You'll be

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you and your family are healthy and safe! I am always praying for everyone.  
> May it be big or small, do things that will make you happy despite the circumstances we are now in.  
> Mental health is just as important as our physical wellness.

“Ryosuke!” Chinen cried, the urgency in his tone almost making Yamada stumble on his way out of their room.

“What happened?” Eyes wide and worried, Yamada shuffled towards the seemingly relaxed pair who he thought was in the brink of danger. In that short span of time, he had already thought of every possible things that may have happened for Chinen to cry out like that.

 _Confused_ , he sat beside them on the mat. “What is it?”

“Luv.” Chinen grinned as he looked at her with sheer pride. There was even a glimmer of tear that was threatening to fall if Yamada wasn’t mistaken. Chinen moved himself and Luv a bit further and opposite the man. He held Luv upright for balance until he was confident that their baby’s cute plump ankles were supporting her enough. Slowly, Chinen retracted his hands from her small body but kept them hanging on her sides just in case she started lurching. Yamada had a look of disbelief on his face but was replaced with an unexpected excitement as he watched his daughter concentrate and take a wobbly odd step towards him.

It felt like the whole world stopped from moving, the clocks froze from spinning and all he could see was his daughter approaching him with her strong pair of legs. Chinen’s words of encouragement fell muffled through his ears, but somehow he could still understand them clearly. And when his daughter plunged to his arms, he had her crushed in a tight embrace- overflowing with fulfillment and happiness. It is true when people say, _“you can’t stop your children from growing”_ and to make matters more unfavorable for parents; children grow up _real fast._ The least they can do is be by their side, consistently present and near because tomorrow, they will be older yet again. Every day should be seen as both a gift and a chance- as no one cannot beat the inevitable aggression of time; at least they were able to _watch them grow._

Chinen smiled in utter bliss at the scene before him, awed to have witnessed one of the most important milestones of baby Luv.

“Come here.” Yamada mouthed as his overjoyed eyes sought for Chinen’s teary ones. The younger only shook his head, wanting to give them the time and space to share and savor the moment foremost. Somehow, Yamada understood what Chinen was trying to do but Chinen should know better. He was a part of this wonderful memory and Yamada wished to share it with him now that they consider themselves a family.

“How about you go to mama, Luv?” Yamada whispered, holding his daughter upright once again. This time, facing Chinen. She giggled at the sight of her mama and with her shaky legs; she started walking towards him. Chinen could not stop his tears from falling anymore and soon, the stream just kept flowing. He opened his arms for her and hugged her instantly when she reached him, _“Oh Luv. You’re such a big girl now.”_ He muttered through his sobs while he also smothered her with kisses. He could only be grateful that his baby did not mind being drowned in sloppy smooches.

“Big.” Luv echoed in a slur.

“Yes. A big girl.” As Chinen nuzzled her hair, Yamada came enclosing both of them with his arms.

That night, Chinen plopped down on his boyfriend’s lap. _Boyfriend._ It still felt surreal to jump from calling Yamada his ‘neighbor’ to ‘boyfriend’. Who would have thought that this man who was almost eight years older than him would see the adult in him that was worthy of being in a relationship with. Nevertheless, he felt like on could nine being able to snuggle his handsome neighbor like this as he wrapped his arms around his neck and feeling Yamada’s arms enclosing his waist.

“How was dinner? Can you rate it?” Chinen asked innocently, running his fingers through his boyfriend’s soft locks.

“Do you even have to ask after I finished two servings?” Yamada chuckled.

“But I really need your review. I’m trying to perfect as much dish as I can before Luv’s birthday.” Then Chinen gasped playfully as he veered away from the older. “Don’t tell me you forgot about it?”

“How can I? When you remind me every chance you get?” Chinen gasped again, a little more exaggerated from before. Yamada could not help but be amused at his boyfriend’s mischievous acts.

“You’re being naughty, why is that?’

“Oh I can be really naughty.” Chinen answered, smirking before adding _“Naughtier even.”_ Yamada hummed and pulled him closer as if their bodies pressing firmly together was still not enough.

“I don’t think so. You are too innocent to fool me.”

_“Ryosuke?”_

“Hm?”

“Can I invite my family?”

“Of course, I was already thinking about discussing this matter with you.”

“Thank you.” Chinen whispered but almost sounding like a purr before realizing the words Yamada had chosen. “But what’s the matter?”

“I’m sure your parents would be interested in their son’s relationship.”

“Why? It’s not as if I’m still underage.”

“The issue isn’t your age. But _mine._ ”

“How is it an issue?” Chinen’s eyebrows met in the middle, thoroughly confused to what the man was trying to imply. Had it not been established that _age just a number?_

“Yuri, I am nearly 30 plus I have a child. No parent would be so thrilled of that fact when they know their child could have a better and brighter future ahead.”

“Well… I am thrilled about baby Luv’s first step though.” Chinen beamed, pinching the tip of Yamada’s nose. “You were able to tape it, right? I want to watch it again before sleeping.”

“Changing the subject, but yes. It’s in my phone.”

_“Ryosuke?”_

“Yes?”

“Are you sure about this?” He asked. “Because I don’t want to make it seem like I’m taking advantage of you. You were hurt and it hasn’t been that long. I understand if you want to make things slower. I don’t mind really. I can wait. I want you to be sure of what you’re feeling.” He looked down, a little afraid of what Yamada’s answer could be. If it happened to be Yamada’s wish to go slower as he himself had suggested, then it would totally make things awkward for them despite Chinen assuring him that it was fine.

Yamada lifted up his chin and took his sweet time to study Chinen’s features before replying. He was indeed beautiful, very natural and almost ethereal. Like an angel sent from the heavens to save him and his daughter from the pits of sadness and disappointment brought by a mother’s betrayal.

Yamada could not deny that they may have been assertive and that they could have gone a little easier but not when he also knew in his heart that Chinen was just the right person. The person who had entered his life out of nowhere yet had made him willingly let go of yesterday and look forward to tomorrow.

“W-what? Why are you looking at me like that?” Chinen asked uneasily while awaiting for the other’s response.

Yamada finally offered him the depths of his thoughts, “Because it’s never been this easy. It’s never been this easy to to leave Riku with just anyone. It’s never been this easy for Riku to warm up to someone. It’s never been this easy to talk to someone. It’s never been this easy to open up to someone, never been this easy to breathe. I have never felt so lighter. Until you came. You are a gi-“

“Stop. Don’t… go on.” Chinen cut Yamada off by placing a finger against his lips to which Yamada had ended up kissing.

Chinen bit his lower lip as he stared right through Yamada’s honest eyes. “You asked me if I was sure about this, yes? Here’s my answer.” He captured Chinen’s hand in his, moving it away from his lips. Without any hesitation, Yamada leaned forward to claim Chinen’s lips, intruding the younger’s sweet cavern as he plunged his tongue to greet Chinen’s timid one. The meeting was out of rhythm but nevertheless, perfect, as they danced around each other finding the right pace.

Chinen could feel himself exploding with heat and stopping Yamada from speaking was a right decision or else his vulnerability could have been unsheltered. The kiss, however, tugged his heart into a state of turbo. Propelling him into the deepest intensity of _love._

_He had never been so sure all his life. This was his choice. No other future would be better or brighter without Yamada and Luv in it._

_[March 19, 2020]_

Chinen pouted. “Ryosuke, I can’t reach it.” Try as he might to stretch his petite body, he really cannot stick the pink and purple balloons at both ends of the big “Happy Birthday” banner on the wall.

“Alright, let me get that.” Ryosuke said and extended his hand to help the younger get down from the stool he was standing on. Yuri jumped down and hissed annoyingly, “I hate my height.”

“Yuri, your height is just perfect.”

“Perfect?!” Chinen almost mocked, which part of it was perfect? “I even had to ask you to put some stuff from the cabinets to where I can reach them!”

Yamada smiled lovingly, hugging Chinen from behind. “It’s perfect, see. You fit right in my arms and we still have some space for Luv.” Chinen blushed at that and elbowed Yamada in the gut.

“Don’t be distracted. The balloons.” Chinen said, walking away and knowing that the heat in his cheeks would not dissipate soon.

Chinen had woken up early to start preparing the dishes he had eagerly learned so he could cook them for Luv’s birthday. Yamada’s family will be coming and he was feeling jittery since the night before. Even though Yamada had assured him that there was nothing to worry about, he still wanted to make a good impression of himself.

He then forced his attention back on finishing the dishes because in a few more hours, the people they had invited would start arriving and he has not even bathed Luv yet. Chinen briefly looked at Luv who was playing peacefully. He couldn’t be grateful enough to whoever had invented the baby activity center, especially now that Luv has started walking and it’s difficult to leave her alone. At least he could just place Luv in there while she bounce and play in one place safely instead of having her ride a walker which might impose more danger if she was left unattended for long periods of time.

“Ryosuke?” Chinen called out. “I think it’s time to pick up the cake.” Luv herself chose the cake design. Chinen had printed out some pictures of different colors for the icing, shapes for the shape of the cake, animals, cartoon characters and some other cake themes, which he laid out on the mat one afternoon, letting Luv wander around the photo cards. Chinen smiled fondly as he recalled how baby Luv crawled around, examining, crumpling and throwing the photos until she was able to pick three photos with her mama’s help.

“I won’t take long.” Yamada said, kissing both Chinen and Riku’s forehead who were on their way to the bathroom.

“Promise me you’ll be careful with it.” How is it possible not to promise the man who had just pulled off the most effective puppy eyes ever?

“I promise.”

The next twenty-five minutes passed by in a flash and Chinen had just finished putting on baby Luv’s flower hairdress. She wore a pink tutu dress with an oversized ribbon at the back that matched the color of her cake – a two-tier round pink cake with and elephant and little girl sitting side by side on top.

“Happy Birthday, Yamada Riku!~” Chinen had already lost count of how many times he had greeted the their little sunshine, “From the very first day I saw you, you had already captured Mama’s heart and you’re only getting more and more beautiful as you grow. I’m sure your heart will just be as beautiful. I will always love you, my baby Luv.” He kissed her cheek and stopped himself from squishing her in a tight hug as to not ruin her dress.

When the doorbell rang, Chinen thought of how fast Yamada could have driven if he was back that soon. In his estimate, it should have taken at least thirty to forty minutes if he considered the traffic, stoplights and the waiting time at the cake shop. Puzzled but also thankful that he was back before any of the guests have arrived Chinen opened the door enthused.

“Hey you’re back earl....y” Chinen voice faded when he was met by an old lady, a younger lady and a man instead.

“You must be-“

“Riku’s mother.” The younger of the two women finished. As she stood taller, she looked down on Chinen and asked, “Where is she?”

“I…uhm…” Not knowing what to do, Chinen only stood there and not gave her an answer. Surely, Yamada had invited Riku’s grandmother but he was not sure about Riku’s mother. And if he was the one to decide, he’d rather not let her in. But of course, that was just his selfish and conceited opinion, who was he to deprive Riku from her own biological mother.

“Who are you? Where’s Ryosuke?” She sounded impatient.

“I’m Riku’s nanny.” Chinen’s eyes met the old woman’s and he could have sworn she looked so apologetic but he could not quite grasp where it was coming from.

“Perfect. Ryosuke doesn’t seem home.” Riku’s mother shoved Chinen out of her way and stomped inside finding Riku in her crib. Like any other normal babies, Riku had developed anxiety around strangers. And when she saw her ‘mother’, she had blasted into a cry, asking for her mama.

“Please don’t scare her. She’s not good with strangers.”

“Stranger?!” Riku’s mother asked in disbelief. “If there’s anyone that should be called a stranger, it should be you! She was even calling for me.”

“Riku-chan, mommy’s here.” She said, attempting to come closer but only to earn a louder scream from the baby.

Chinen finally hoisted her, patting her back gently to calm her down but as he did it, he was also trying to calm his racing heart. Begging the good heavens to make Yamada come home sooner because just like his daughter, he can sense something that’s not very good.

“What are you trying to do?”

“I’m taking her with me.”

“Excuse me?! Are you crazy?! Ryosuke is on his way home-”

“Look kid, just give her to me.” The woman seethed, clasping her hands around Riku’s and attempting to tear her away from Chinen.

“Let go! She’s getting hurt!” Chinen shouted but the man who was with them had captured him from behind, disabling his arms from holding Luv any tighter. Soon, Riku’s grandmother had joined and the more hands that grabbed Riku, the louder she cried.

“ _Please._ Let her go.” Chinen was now begging, eyes searching for Riku’s grandmother instead. Through their visual contact, she signaled Chinen to let go and that she will take charge of the situation. But as Chinen painfully loosened his hold, Riku’s mother and the man scampered away, pushing Chinen hardly that he lost his balance.

“Keiko!” Chinen heard Riku’s grandmother shout. She appeared to have been stunned by her daughter’s aggressiveness as well and tried to run after them. But the frailness of her age sabotaged the will of her body.

Regaining his feet on the ground, Chinen’s adrenaline started shooting high and he was able to catch up with the car that was now reversing from the parking lot. He pounded the door, the windows and shouted for his daughter’s name.

The last thing he saw before the car sped up was Riku desperately banging her small hands against the windows. _Screaming for him._

With the cake wrecked on the ground, Chinen flinched and jumped at the thunder that was Yamada’s voice. “Riku. WHERE IS RIKU?!”

“Somebody tell me what happened here!”

“YURI?!” Yamada was completely exasperated, gritting his teeth with his voracious need for an answer.

“I-I…” Not knowing what to say or where to start, Chinen stuttered.

But Riku’s grandmother interrupted, “I told her you invited me to celebrate Riku’s birthday and if she wanted to see her daughter she should come with me but I didn’t know she was planning on something until we were on our way here-” Her face showing guilt and remorse for what her daughter did.

“I’m sorry!” Chinen was distinctly petrified. His hands were shaking enough and his mind already in a frantic whirl. “I’m sorry.” His legs gave out as he dropped on the floor. “I-I was holding Riku and then she was grabbing her and Riku was already getting hurt. I didn’t know what to do, she was crying-“ Yamada dropped down, wanting to enfold the smaller male to calm him down but Chinen only shied away which made Yamada’s heart constrict even more. He wanted to punch himself for scaring the younger even more when he knew that Chinen must have been completely traumatized.

“It’s _my_ fault.”

“No, it’s not.” Yamada hated to see him like that, but every time he tried to come closer, Chinen moved away. Until he was running away from them and out on the streets. Looking for a black Nissan Sentra. He did not stop. He could not stop. Not when the guilt was eating him alive.

Chinen asked everyone he saw outside if they had seen a black car pass by and ended up attracting the attention of the whole area until one kind soul notified the cops. Two cops were quick to respond and drove to where Chinen was, asking him information about Riku and her abductor. Luckily, Chinen had his phone with him and he was able to provide them with a photo of Riku.

“Would you like to come with us or wait for us to call you?”

“I’d like to search with you please.”

“Then please get inside the car.” The cop opened up the door for him and Chinen occupied the back to himself. He would never forgive himself if anything were to happen to Riku.

He had no idea how much time they had spent inside the car, all he knew was that they have had a few turns already. But as long as they remained missing, time and distance felt as though it was forever.

Chinen sucked in a deep breath because even with his vivid memory, the small white sticker at the side of the car still stood out and he could not be mistaken. He leaned forward, pointing a finger towards it. “T-THERE! That one!” Chinen pointed at the black Sentra parked outside a convenience store. The cops pulled over while maintaining a decent distance so as not to alarm the abductors. One of them went inside the convenience store to check around while the other was left with Chinen inside the car.

Fumbling through his phone, Chinen found Yamada’s contact right away and called him, notifying him of the place. After a while, a screech was heard from the cop’s handheld radio followed by a whisper.

_“Positive. Over.”_

_“Copy. I am heading over right now. Over.”_

_“Roger.”_

When the officer was about to get out of the car, Chinen stopped him, “Can I go with you?”

“We’ll have you wait here for a while.” But that did not stop Chinen from getting down from the car as well, hiding from behind. He needed to have a quick means of entry if in case things got out of hand.

His heart almost ceased beating the instant he saw Riku crying in her mother’s arm as they were escorted out of the store. Oh, how he wanted to rush at that very moment to reclaim her back.

The cops had already started interrogating them and he was willing to be patient for a little while more if that meant the safety of his baby. Still, every second weighed heavily on him especially when Riku had been inconsolable despite her mother trying to shush her.

At first, the nonchalance of Riku’s mother was radiating and the way she was acting normal had Chinen’s fists clenching. Enough that his nails were already digging through his skin. The man beside Riku’s mother had now stepped in to block the cops and was trying to push them away. Chinen could not hear very clearly but he was possibly attempting to tell the cops that they were a family so they could get off the hook. Fortunately, the cops did not buy any of it and asked him to put his hands up in the air instead.

Just as Chinen was getting ready to jump at any moment, Yamada had finally arrived, parking his car at the back of the police mobile. He emerged behind Chinen, stopping him from taking a step forward.

Chinen turned around and gasped in relief when he finally saw Yamada. “Ryosuke, Luv! She’s there, she’s-”

“Don’t worry. I’ll take her back…Thank you.” Yamada kissed his forehead before heading out to the scene. Surprise was painted all over Keiko’s face when she saw Yamada walking towards them. She tried to hide Riku with her body but Yamada just kept advancing while Chinen stayed glued to where he stood, heart aching that it had come to this. _All because of his carelessness._

Chinen’s eyes remained fixated at the figure of Yamada walking back with Riku. He sprinted towards them, hugging Riku immediately and crying in both relief and aghast.

Silence lingered inside the car on their way home except for the occasional hiccups that escaped Chinen. Yamada glanced on his rear view mirror every now and then to see the couple at the back seat. Luv had finally calmed down in Chinen’s bosom but Chinen didn’t show any sign of simmering down even when he had already buried his face on Luv’s hair.

\--

Chinen opened the door when the doorbell rang and it was none other than Yamada, standing outside. Just like the first time they met, but today, he did not have a baby with him. “I am thinking of moving out, I don’t want to risk my daughter like that again. Will that be okay with you?”

Chinen saw this coming, but still, he couldn’t hide the sadness as he forced himself to smile. “You don’t have to ask me. Do what you think will be best for her.”

“I was hoping you would come with us that’s why I am asking you.” Chinen looked down, shaking his head.

“I... I don’t know. I could never pretend as if nothing happened or that it was just a bad dream, Ryosuke.”

“What do you mean?”

Chinen choked on a sob but denied himself to go further. He did not have the right to cry in front of the man he had miserably failed. “I want to quit.”

“But you’re not even Riku’s nanny anymore. You can’t just quit, you are her mama and-“

“Do I still even deserve to be called her mama?” His own laugh mocking him. _No. He didn’t deserve it anymore. Not even the slightest bit when he could not even protect her._ “I can no longer hold her without thinking I have been a bad nanny. That I was the reason why she was taken away. I could never look at her without having the fear of losing her again.” He elucidated. Everything that was lingering inside his heart finally being stripped to their truth – _That he was scared_. _So so scared_ of it happening again, and only God knows what he would do to himself the next time it happens.

“I ruined her birthday, Ryosuke!”

“That wasn’t you! That was Keiko! How long do you intend to punish yourself like this?!”

“But if I only held onto her tighter then they wouldn’t have gotten her!”

“It wasn’t your fault and I am not blaming you! You have done enough to protect Riku but they were obviously stronger than you were and I will never resent you for that. Besides, you were the one who found her! If you think that is still not enough then come back and hug your daughter who wakes up in the middle of the night asking for you! How can we move on from this if you’ll continue acting this way?”

“No. I think it’s better for me to stay away. Having me beside you wouldn’t help you forget at all. It should be okay, she won’t even remember me when she gets older. And that should go as well for you. Don’t you think it’s better to end it while it’s still fresh, that way it wouldn’t hurt so much?” _Lies. It fucking hurts. But to heal a wound, you have got to stop touching it._

He closed the door and went straight to his bed, curling up immediately as his heart clenched with the thought of never being able to hold his baby Luv anymore. His heart shattering that he would never hear the word “Mama” anymore. And his heart weeping as he failed to keep his promise to the closest people he could call his “family”.

For days he had not eaten, for days he could not stop himself from replaying the awful things that had happened. But he wouldn’t ever deny that he missed her so much. When he was too tired to cry, he would lean his back on the thick wall that separated him and baby Luv and he could only hug himself and bury his face on his thighs as he selfishly pleaded the heavens to hear baby Luv’s voice. Even if it meant she had to cry just so it would penetrate the cement.

_Just this once, for the last time. Please. Before they go. Please let me hear my daughter._

And as if hearing his prayer, baby Luv started to cry. She cried her lungs out looking for her mama and Chinen’s chest constricted as if squeezing the life out of him. He had asked for it, yet, it felt like a suicide.

He could no longer take it. He dashed out of his apartment, successfully pressing the door’s passkey and rushing to his daughter.

“I’m here. I’m here now.” His voice quivered, caressing the back of her daughter who hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled, his voice raspy and obviously strained from all the crying. Though Riku’s weight had replaced the compression on his chest, he could attest that he can finally breathe better now. He spent a few moment to fill his lungs, taking in as much air as his body can allow and whiffing the deleterious thoughts off from his system.

Yamada leaned his exhausted body against the doorframe, smiling a little at the reunion before him.

Packing up had been so strenuous and a few big brown boxes were now blocking most of the way. When she cried, it made it hard for him to reach her in a speed of light like how he used to when they still had clear paths. It, however, completely froze him when he heard the front door open. But when Riku only cried louder and chanted “Mama”, he felt a huge surge of comfort overwhelm his heart.

Before Yamada can open his mouth, Chinen had already charged towards him banging his forehead on his chest. “I’m sorry.” He cried and eventually wetting Yamada’s shirt. He was going through so many emotions but there’s only one that dominates his body. The _burning love_ he has for them.

_“Okaeri.”_

_This life does not require you to be perfect. Because no one is._

_Everyone is allowed to make mistakes. No, they are not failures._

_They are lessons._

_And it’s okay to breakdown sometimes._

_To experience heartbreaks._

_To fall down and succumb to your emotions._

_But do not walk away._

_Never forget who controls your life._

_How much you try._

_How strong you are._

_How powerful you love._

_WHO YOU ARE._

_Trust yourself._

_Live each day better than yesterday._

_And spend it with people you were meant to be with._

**Author's Note:**

> Sooooo.. It's been a while.  
> It took me so long to finish this and I'm not exactly sure if i should be happy or what. :(
> 
> Comments will be appreciated~^^
> 
> Thank you for your support as always.
> 
> A reminder from phantomhive: Boost your immune system^^


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